Stories of town explorations.
This is the other side of my privilege. I had access to this information not as a clinical worker, but as a writer.
» We often regard wishes as fairy tales as we see in Disney movies. However, Girlie’s story was no fairy tale. It was more than a fairy tale—it was her own real-life movie where she is the one writing her own life’s script.
» The story of Girlie is proof that there’s no reason for any of us to give up in life. Her determination was stronger than her fears.
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I’ve seen just recently how a person died slowly of fungal pneumonia. I knew the clinical history, but I don’t know how to explain it to his housemates and partner that it was an HIV case. The family of his partner was not even aware of it.
In my clinical practice, I also had a “minor” patient who happened to be a s*x worker. She tested positive for HIV. Worse, my nurse colleague got pricked with the needle used to insert the IV cannula of that HIV carrier who happened to be our patient, putting my colleague at risk of having the virus, too.
These experiences have made working with people with HIV a familiar part of my profession.
► A deep dive to the “positive” world of HIV
Recently, I met an 18-year-old girl who is positive of HIV. She just turned 18, but her status as an HIV carrier has been positive since she was a minor.
At this point, this is the other side of my privilege. I had access to this information not as a clinical worker, but as a writer.
While meeting people with HIV is not new to me, this encounter gave me an incredible opportunity to talk about her condition in depth—something I never had with my previous hospital-based HIV patients.
► “Girlie” (HIV positive status in childhood)
The first thing I asked about Girlie* was this: When was the time you became aware of your condition?
Girlie responded that she was given an insight by her grandmother about her condition, and it started to concern her when she started taking medications. At that time, she said that “I didn’t take it to heart.” She said that before her mom died, she also received advice from her mother that she should take the medications for her to remain healthy.
I didn’t stop from there. I had to ask an additional question when it “sank in” to her that she is HIV positive. I was surprised by her response that it only “sank in” just recently. Girlie just turned 18 years old a few months ago.
Coping up as a kid: losing her parents and dealing with her condition
Girlie said that when she was a kid, she was more carefree. She didn’t think about it much. Now that she’s older, she wanted to shift her focus to the dreams she wanted to pursue. “I have reasons to keep going,” she said. Despite losing both of her parents, she wanted to keep going for her dreams.Since Girlie’s parents are gone, I asked her of the support system that she got. She told me that it’s her grandmother. She also mentioned her friends, but her friends are not aware of her condition.
Of winning and achieving
“Arts. I pursued the arts.” These were the words of Girlie when I asked her about her greatest achievement in her 18 years of existence.“I realized this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to create. I want to evoke emotion through my arts. I found out that I could do arts of all forms like visual, applied, and motion arts.” She emphasized.
In all her creations, I asked her what she thought was the most significant in her life. She struggled to pinpoint one at first because she has a lot of creations.
“I made a sculpture.” She quipped. “I got a good score in school from that creation. I created the artwork while I was sick. Despite all that, I enjoyed doing that artwork while I was sick. I loved the output, and the people around me also loved it.”
She also gave me deeper insight into her creation. “The artwork is about Nirvana. It’s about Buddhism. That theme is relevant to my situation right now. It’s about peace.”
Her greatest fear, and how she is dealing with it
I know that this is not an easy question. Sometimes, asking this question needs nuance, because it potentially crosses personal boundaries. However, Girlie was fearless in answering my question about fear. Her answer?“Relapse.” It’s just a single word, but it’s a fearful reality; and Girlie was fearless to admit and confront her own fears. It’s one word but heavily loaded with meaning.
This fear also comes with potential disturbances in her mental health. So, I asked her how she manages her mental health.
“I shifted my attention to school. I also found out that I’m good at sculpting. After creating my first piece, I was inspired and I wanted to create more.” She answered with beams of hope and optimism.
Inspiration and Strength
“I take inspiration from Renaissance art,” she explained. I’m also learning about it in school. When I asked if there was a time when she thought that her condition has affected her dreams, she was brave to say this: “Yes, but I choose to think positively. I need to choose to accept it because staying sad won’t help me either.”Asking about her greatest strength, she said: “My mom. I think about her all the time. She has always supported me in all the things I wanted to do.”
Wishes from the past, of today, and in the future
I asked Girlie if she has wishes in the past that have come true.“Yes. I always dreamed of having an iPad for my artwork. I had high grades last time, so I was gifted with that.” She replied.
“Secondly, I became more comfortable with myself.” She added.
I asked her: “If you had some ungranted wishes before, which one would you want to be granted soon?
“I want a longer life for my grandma. She’s 80 years old now. I want her to see my achievements.” She replied.
My greatest moment with my grandmother is happening all the time. I love spending and celebrating my grandma’s birthday.” She added.
I ended my conversation with her by asking her greatest wish as of this moment. This was her answer: “I wish to live more. I wish to live longer. I have had hardships. Despite that, I wish to have a long life.”
► A Pink Wish
Girlie is one of the beneficiaries of the Make-a-Wish foundation. She told me that her wish of having a pink cellphone at that time was granted.
According to her, everything was unexpected. It so happened that she attended an event in her hometown. She participated in a certain activity when someone casually asked her of her wish, and she said that she wished to have a pink cellphone.
She did not expect to get one. She was with her grandmother at that time, and she said that she even cried when she received a wish that was granted almost instantly. She was grateful that her wish came true.
Girlie’s granted wish impacted her life positively. She said that her journey as an artist also changed in a good way. With her pink cellphone, she said that she used the device to get exposed to different forms of art. When her wish was granted, the cellphone became her bridge to pursue her passion for arts, as she used the device to gain more art exposures.
We often regard wishes as fairy tales as we see in Disney movies. However, Girlie’s story was no fairy tale. It was more than a fairy tale—it was her own real-life movie where she is the one writing her own life’s script. With my conversation with her, I have to say that she has succeeded in writing her own life’s movie very well starting at a young age.
Her story is also the story of many young girls out there. With her granted wish that changed her life positively, the pink cellphone would surely contribute more ideas, passion, and drive to write the script of her future and to direct her real-life movie with a plot of inspiration with a happy ending.
The story of Girlie is proof that there’s no reason for any of us to give up in life. Her determination was stronger than her fears. Her dreams were bigger than her doubt.
*Girlie is a pseudonym used in this blog post to protect the name and identity of the interviewee
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UPDATE HISTORY FOR THIS BLOG POST
2026-January-10:
• This post was published.
NAGUSTUAM DIAY NABASAM/NAKITAM? MABALIN MO MET I-LIKE.
